It is always a tragedy when someone dies, especially for corporations which are dependent on one guy for good ideas, and I am sure that with the loss of Steve Jobs we will be mourning more than we know it, apple are in the process of releasing an new Ipad, which is the sequel to the Ipad 2, but its not the Ipad 3 they are going with Ipad despite the fact that the first Ipad was also the Ipad so I think we now have to call the first one Ipad 1, just to be a pain in the ass.
Now lets talk about the new Ipad It has 2048-1536 pixel resolution and a quad core possessor, I'm an art/IT student and I barely know what on earth this means but that's just about all the enhancements that they put in except for "News stand" which is just like "book case" but for magazines, a new feature that allows you to stop what ever you are doing and bring up Twitter at the touch of a button so we can know the exact moment that you fart and a device that has to be purchased separately for another 100 or so dollars that allows you connect your Ipad to the TV... that already exists but hasn't been released as an apple product before, so yeah the new Ipad is definitely worth the time and money.
finally I would like to bring to your attention 4G network, its supposedly an ultra fast-long term-puts 3G to shame solution to all your mobile network problems... that isn't compatible with the new Ipad, my theory is that its not compatible because its long term, anything long term completely ruins apples business structure there is still gonna have to be another 2 Ipad's this year so why not let the last one have 4G, and im sure the Ipad 2S is gonna have a great feature that allows faster connection to facebook and a whole bunch of other apps that are useless and probably could have been on the last one.
Andriod 4 LYF Dawg
Bruce Willis was a ghost the whole time
Tuesday, 13 March 2012
Friday, 2 September 2011
Harry's how to: Clubbing
Sorry about my lack of posts but I haven't really been on since I turned 18 because I got some kind of a life, but I'm back from my life now and what I learned in that time is that there are a huge amount of dickheads at nightclubs, so I thought I would offer a brief insight to my observations to avoid you becoming a dickhead. so here is what I'm hoping to become a series of Harry's how to:
Harry's how to: Clubbing
the first thing you need to know is that there a thousands of people there all trying to stand out, in the exact same ways, creating one sea of people that nobody really cares about. so just make it easier on your self and try blend in, that might make you stand out. for this its best to find a group of people to blend with (Make sure you blend in) to make this fun picture that your the guy from assassins creed trying to go unnoticed, although dressing like him may make you stand out, this is not advised.
now that we got the what to do down, I'm gonna give you some pointers on dancing that avoids you looking like a dickhead, now the dance floor is usually very cramped so it best to actually dance with your arms than your feet, some moves I have noticed include one I call the half arsed monkey, you know how Johnny Bravo did the monkey, well its like that but you tuck your elbows into your hips and then try and monkey to the music, another timeless classic for girls is the "are you actually dancing or should I dial the hospital" where you make duck face, bob up and down then make jass hands in front of your duck face, this is sure to attract the males *Cough* not that you need to, with 500 drunk guys who are all sure to dance just as awesome as you. and when in doubt fist pump and sing.
follow my simple advise and you are sure to be the king of clubs, or at least a deuce of clubs.
Bruce Willis was a ghost the whole time.
Harry's how to: Clubbing
the first thing you need to know is that there a thousands of people there all trying to stand out, in the exact same ways, creating one sea of people that nobody really cares about. so just make it easier on your self and try blend in, that might make you stand out. for this its best to find a group of people to blend with (Make sure you blend in) to make this fun picture that your the guy from assassins creed trying to go unnoticed, although dressing like him may make you stand out, this is not advised.
now that we got the what to do down, I'm gonna give you some pointers on dancing that avoids you looking like a dickhead, now the dance floor is usually very cramped so it best to actually dance with your arms than your feet, some moves I have noticed include one I call the half arsed monkey, you know how Johnny Bravo did the monkey, well its like that but you tuck your elbows into your hips and then try and monkey to the music, another timeless classic for girls is the "are you actually dancing or should I dial the hospital" where you make duck face, bob up and down then make jass hands in front of your duck face, this is sure to attract the males *Cough* not that you need to, with 500 drunk guys who are all sure to dance just as awesome as you. and when in doubt fist pump and sing.
follow my simple advise and you are sure to be the king of clubs, or at least a deuce of clubs.
Bruce Willis was a ghost the whole time.
Sunday, 22 May 2011
It's the end yet again
Okay, so I have a Charlie Sheen load more than I can handle of doomsday theory's, seriously, it was meant to rapture yesterday but this blog is being typed so you snooze you loose rapture, but really why does everybody want the world to end so much, obviously if you want something done right you have to do it yourself, but nobody actually wants that, all we actually want destroyed is "teen superstars" so if somebody could rapture them that would be great.
So ultimately if we were all gonna die what would it change... you know what I did this weekend
because I knew the world was gonna end, same thing I do every weekend, and even if we did all die I'd be proud of it, because I didn't freak out like everybody else who thought they were gonna die. and I do realize that if I did die my blog would say something very different (pause to let that sink in). but yeah if i was dead right now, I would probs just go "well shit I was wrong, I'mma go chill with Elvis"
Bruce Willis was a ghost the whole time
So ultimately if we were all gonna die what would it change... you know what I did this weekend
because I knew the world was gonna end, same thing I do every weekend, and even if we did all die I'd be proud of it, because I didn't freak out like everybody else who thought they were gonna die. and I do realize that if I did die my blog would say something very different (pause to let that sink in). but yeah if i was dead right now, I would probs just go "well shit I was wrong, I'mma go chill with Elvis"
Bruce Willis was a ghost the whole time
Wednesday, 4 May 2011
Osama Bin Dead (lack of title creativity)
So I haven't blogged in yet another great period of time so I figured I would be probably the last person in the world to inform you about Osama, so yeah in case you have been living under the sea this week with two fish wedged in your ears and coral over your eyes Osama is dead, so we are all on the some page? or have you been down there for a decade? all in all not many people liked him, but I don't celebrate death, there is just a few people that I mourn less then others, on that note can we use the USA special forces on Beiber? he won't take as long to find, and now that Osama's dead what are you doing?
But ain't that the truth, when they killed Osama they all probably just looked at each other and said "Does this mean we're out of a Job, but seriously guys, i was just about to call him and tell him that I give up and its his turn to seek, I had the best spot and everything, but on a more serious note I heard conspiracy's about Osama being unarmed and they should have arrested him and given him a fair trial, but how could that have gone down anyway? If they arrested him do you honestly think America would go "Hmm, we all have completely made up our minds that you are in fact behind 9/11, but I guess there are two sides to every story, did you have a good reason for blowing us up?". wouldn't happen. and that's why we should all just except the fact that he is dead and that no conspiracy's are necessary and we should all just sit back and do what I do, wait for the next one to pop up so you can make jokes about it once they have died so its not "Insensitive".
Bruce Willis was a ghost the whole time.
But ain't that the truth, when they killed Osama they all probably just looked at each other and said "Does this mean we're out of a Job, but seriously guys, i was just about to call him and tell him that I give up and its his turn to seek, I had the best spot and everything, but on a more serious note I heard conspiracy's about Osama being unarmed and they should have arrested him and given him a fair trial, but how could that have gone down anyway? If they arrested him do you honestly think America would go "Hmm, we all have completely made up our minds that you are in fact behind 9/11, but I guess there are two sides to every story, did you have a good reason for blowing us up?". wouldn't happen. and that's why we should all just except the fact that he is dead and that no conspiracy's are necessary and we should all just sit back and do what I do, wait for the next one to pop up so you can make jokes about it once they have died so its not "Insensitive".
Bruce Willis was a ghost the whole time.
Friday, 15 April 2011
Harry trading card game
Greetings loyal fans, I realised that I haven't blogged in a while and that I owed it to you to bring you a laugh, and well it being international comedy festival time I figured i better contribute, ultimately i cam into this blog though with no idea about what I'm doing so yeah lets see how I do.
Recently I have realised that for some strange reason I'm cool... this is a huge surprise to me, but the problem is with so many friends I have become a trading card, but not like Pokemon where people make me fight against other people till we pass out, much like boxing, I now have the Massive urge to start training boxers, but that will be another story, anyway yeah my friends are passing me around like Ke$ha (Now with more Celebrity references) and It being the holidays it is getting pretty ludicrous, and whats more is my legs are my only mode of transport so yeah I'm basically running more than a Kenyan (not racist, I'm going off the Olympics) I'm not exactly in the best shape so I find myself being way to tired to actually do anything when I get there making me feel like an old man.
this story is going nowhere so I'm sorry for your time but there are no refunds.
Bruce Willis was a ghost the whole time.
Recently I have realised that for some strange reason I'm cool... this is a huge surprise to me, but the problem is with so many friends I have become a trading card, but not like Pokemon where people make me fight against other people till we pass out, much like boxing, I now have the Massive urge to start training boxers, but that will be another story, anyway yeah my friends are passing me around like Ke$ha (Now with more Celebrity references) and It being the holidays it is getting pretty ludicrous, and whats more is my legs are my only mode of transport so yeah I'm basically running more than a Kenyan (not racist, I'm going off the Olympics) I'm not exactly in the best shape so I find myself being way to tired to actually do anything when I get there making me feel like an old man.
this story is going nowhere so I'm sorry for your time but there are no refunds.
Bruce Willis was a ghost the whole time.
Friday, 1 April 2011
Wednesday, 30 March 2011
Family
Everybody has a family, whether they know it or not, but what I'm talking about right now is my family on my dads side, not that my mums side isn't great, but they aren't really blog worthy. Odd is probably the best way to describe my family, but we are exactly the same as each other, this is a family built on generations of lame jokes, which is most definitely the reason my blog is so fantastic, also a vast majority of us are musical types, we can make one epic band, but i play nothing.
At a family gathering hell would usually break loose, for anybody within a mile of us all they are able to do is groan, because of a large amount of guitars many people start playing guitars and we try to play songs that we can sing along to, but nobody will ever know the actual lyrics, so we say random words to the tune of the song, and it always ends up as a string of puns that could make a grown man cry, we have slaughtered so many classic song that Justin Beiber dislikes our singing, and to the Beibster fans, NO, Justin Beiber does not have a good taste in music.
As any good family does, we mock each others mistakes, but one time I remember that mocking me went horribly wrong, we were all siting in a circle playing our songs from hell when i stood up to go somewhere, while walking away I tripped over a little bit I was staying stable but I went to grab a solid object to stop me from falling over, but just before I grabbed it I realised it was a huge cactus so I didn't grab it. But then my cousin saw what I did and wanted to show everybody else by mimicking me in a mocking manner, but what she didn't realise is I didn't actually touch the cactus, so then her hand was bleeding everywhere and I was laughing at the irony of everybody mocking her for mocking me, because yes, we mock each other whilst blood is involved, we are cool like that.
Bruce Willis was a ghost the whole time.
At a family gathering hell would usually break loose, for anybody within a mile of us all they are able to do is groan, because of a large amount of guitars many people start playing guitars and we try to play songs that we can sing along to, but nobody will ever know the actual lyrics, so we say random words to the tune of the song, and it always ends up as a string of puns that could make a grown man cry, we have slaughtered so many classic song that Justin Beiber dislikes our singing, and to the Beibster fans, NO, Justin Beiber does not have a good taste in music.
As any good family does, we mock each others mistakes, but one time I remember that mocking me went horribly wrong, we were all siting in a circle playing our songs from hell when i stood up to go somewhere, while walking away I tripped over a little bit I was staying stable but I went to grab a solid object to stop me from falling over, but just before I grabbed it I realised it was a huge cactus so I didn't grab it. But then my cousin saw what I did and wanted to show everybody else by mimicking me in a mocking manner, but what she didn't realise is I didn't actually touch the cactus, so then her hand was bleeding everywhere and I was laughing at the irony of everybody mocking her for mocking me, because yes, we mock each other whilst blood is involved, we are cool like that.
Bruce Willis was a ghost the whole time.
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